Let’s discuss owning our personal emotions. There is a common yet destructive habit of blaming personal emotions on others and circumstances, especially when it would be best to simply own personal emotions. Admittedly, I catch myself doing this also. For instance, I noticed myself reporting how, “some driver cut me off, and that made me so upset”, and mentioned that “so-and-so neglected to return my phone call, and that made me sad”. These types of phrases, while ubiquitous in everyday speech, are faulty. So, I decided to set an intention to change the way I talk about my emotions.
The intention is to begin owning my emotions. I intend to quit blaming others for my emotions, because it is I who am responsible for managing my own emotions.
Simply put, blaming personal emotions on other people actions and situations is faulty for a number of reasons.
- it negates the fact that your emotions are your own
- it sets an expectation that people and circumstances are responsible for correcting your mood, rather than yourself
- others, not you become the source of correcting your emotions
- it is an example of poor maintenance of personal boundaries
- it breeds resentment from others, and holds others emotionally hostage for your problem
To accompany my intention, I plan to practice personal responsibility of my emotions and share my true feelings while reserving expectations concerning others’ reactions or shows of support.
Here is another source on ways to manage and control your emotions.
Does this resonate with you? What intention will you set for yourself?